I recently had the privilege of sharing my mission and message with a team of social workers. In advance of my presentation, I passed out a “cheat sheet” on my favorite coaching tool and my business card. If you haven’t seen it, my business card says:
When you believe in yourself, anything is possible
One of the social workers, a lifelong friend of mine and the reason I was standing in front of this group, saw the card and said aloud, “Okay Leslie, but that’s just not true.” She continued that if a client of hers aspired to be the next “Michael Jordan” but couldn’t even dribble a ball then she could never say, “Just believe in yourself and it will all work out.”
I LOVED this comment. It was the perfect intro to my coaching approach and the tool I would be teaching them and will share with you today.
My coaching is rooted in the belief that your thoughts cause your feelings, and your feelings drive all your actions.
It’s not what happened that makes you feel happy or sad, it’s what you make it mean, the thoughts you choose to think about it.
It’s not who you are that makes you feel confident or insecure, it’s the thoughts you choose to think about you that make you feel that way.
It’s not the goal that makes you feel determined or defeated, it’s the thoughts you choose to think about it and about yourself that make you feel that way.
This is great news because so many of my clients come to me thinking they have no control over their feelings because they have no control over the world. The truth is, you don’t need to control the world to feel good or go after your goals – you just need to manage your mind.
That doesn’t mean just think happy thoughts. You need to think deliberate thoughts to cultivate the desired feelings to drive the necessary actions to achieving your goal. And one of those thoughts must always be belief that it’s possible. Let’s break it down with the basketball dream.
If the thought is “I can do this” then you will feel confident. When you feel confident, you are probably out on the court morning, noon, and night because you believe in you, and you believe you can make that dream a reality. You aren’t wasting hours doubting yourself or spending time thinking of all the reasons you CAN’T do it. If you believe you can do it then you aren’t taking a setback as a reason to quit or a sign it’s not possible, you view it as a part of the journey. An opportunity to grow or a lesson learned along the way. When you believe in yourself and believe “I can do this” you don’t stop until you do.
If the thought is, “I can’t do this” then you will feel hopeless or defeated and chances are you won’t even try.
Now, there will be a lot of other feelings and actions needed to make this (and any) dream come true. Commitment, determination, motivation…these are just a few that come to mind. And they all stem from your thinking.
Each and every day you go after a goal or strive to create the life of your dreams you will want to be deliberate and intentional with your thoughts because they are the roadmap to your life. They will lead you exactly where you think. Believe it’s not possible and it won’t be. Believe it is and you will always find the way.