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She is SOOOO Mad

A little coach confession here. I am addicted to post-it notes.

I have a post-it note on the mirror in my bathroom covered with my morning mantras. I have two next to my toothbrush with positive affirmations. I also have a couple taped to my computer keyboard that focus me while I am working.

I love these frequent reminders of the deliberate thoughts I want to think daily about myself and the world around me. They are especially valuable on days when those beliefs are challenged - the post-it serving as a loving nudge that I can always choose what to believe about me.

I’ve gotten my kids into the self-confidence post-it club and they too have their beautiful beliefs stuck to surfaces across their room.

My daughter, my little mini-me, started stealing my post-it notes and borrowing those beliefs for herself. I love it!

The other night, she penned a different post-it. This one was fueled by frustration after not getting what she wanted. She brought me the note and then proceeded to sit and sulk in the other room.

As much as I love the post-its professing her strengths, I equally loved this one. It was such a healthy and cathartic expression of a massive emotion she was feeling in the moment.

❤️ I thanked her for sharing it with me.

❤️ I acknowledged and validated the feeling.

❤️ I asked if I could hug her.

❤️ I allowed her to be mad.

I didn’t cave into her request. I didn’t try to make her feel better. I simply gave her the space to feel and express what she was feeling.

Like any emotion, time passed, and she moved on. By bedtime, her sweet smile was once again filling her face and the madness she felt was a not-so-distant memory. By breakfast yesterday she was laughing about it.

So while I love my positive post-it notes, the greatest gift we can give ourselves (and kids) is not always that feel-good message. Sometimes it's just the space to feel and the permission to feel it ALL.

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