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The F Word

I want to talk about the F word. No, not that one. The other one. The bad one.


Through coaching and conversations, I have found that this one word, feeling, and concept is like a universal boogey man we all fear. Like any other monster living under the bed, failure becomes less scary when you simply turn the lights on.

The easiest way to do this is to focus on what failure is by definition versus the intangible mammoth you have made it out to be. A quick Google search will tell you that failure is simply the omission of expected or required action.

Not so scary, right?

In fact, this definition almost seems hopeful because it implies that failure only occurs if you quit. If you keep trying at something and explore different strategies, then eventually you will achieve that expected or required action. And once you do, failure is no longer the outcome, but rather success.

When you think of failure in this way it seems so manageable, yet this is not how your default brain characterizes failure. Your brain believes that failure is a great danger and, since your brain’s only job is to keep you safe, it has advised you to avoid failing at all costs.

Even if it means letting your dreams die before you’ve given them breath.

The truth is, the life of your dreams is contingent upon your willingness to fail.

Your willingness to fall and get back up. To fall again and get back up again. And again. To keep getting back up, to keep trying, to keep believing until you uncover that expected or required action.

Facing your fear of failure will require you go against your default programming which believes failing is the worst thing that can happen to you.

Facing your fear of failure will mean failing on purpose and having your own back when you do. This part is key.

How you frame failure, how you talk to you, and what you make failure mean is completely up to you. No doubt you will keep pursuing that expected or required action if you treat yourself with love and compassion along the way.

Failing might still seem scary but I promise your dreams are worth it. You are worth it.

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